Barbara Decker

For moms walking the path of an adult child suffering with mental illness, there's a way to reclaim your peace AND help your child start making better choices for themselves, even when they refuse help There's a particular kind of helplessness that only mothers of adult children suffering with mental illness understand. It's standing in their kitchen, holding a bottle of medication their grown son or daughter refuses to take. Watching their child fire another therapist after one session. Getting the call that their child checked themselves out of treatment early. These moms have tried everything anyone has ever suggested. They've reasoned. Pleaded. Bargained. And their adult child looks at them like they're the one who doesn't get it. So they wait. For the next crisis. For the moment their child finally sees what they see. Meanwhile, everything else is quietly falling apart. Their sleep. Their health. Their sense of who they are outside of this. And everyone keeps offering advice that assumes their child wants help. "Just find a good therapist." "They need to want it for themselves." As if they haven't been begging for that "wanting it" for ten, fifteen, twenty years. I spent longer than I want to admit in that exact place with my own son. After years of failing, a clinician finally said something I'd never heard: You cannot make an adult child accept treatment. But you can change the dynamic that's keeping them stuck. That insight became the foundation of the "Love Another Way" framework. The way mothers are wired to love, to soothe and rescue, is actually the opposite of what an adult child with mental illness needs to develop awareness of their own condition. Their love isn't wrong. It's the most powerful thing in their child's life. But it's being applied in a way that keeps the pattern locked in place. I put together a free, confidential workshop that walks through the three-step formula for loving an adult child another way. You'll discover: - Why your love isn't reaching them - The shift that changes the dynamic without requiring their cooperation - How to find ground under your feet, even when they're spiraling - The first move you can make this week And it works no matter where you are in this: Whether your child is living in your basement or across the country. Whether your child is stable today or in the middle of an episode. Whether you've been at this for two years or twenty. It even works when your child isn't speaking to you at all. It's completely free. It's confidential. And it's the workshop I wish someone had handed me a decade before I figured this out the hard way. Watch it now: go.livewellandfully.com/3-secrets-fb64-2-mi/ You can't make them want help. But you don't have to keep doing what isn't working.

"I've already tried everything - support groups, therapy, books. Nothing works." I get feeling like you have tried everything. I once was in your shoes. Feeling like nothing was ever going to make a difference. Which is exactly what made me create this guide. This isn't more generic advice from people who've never been addicted. After years of research, what I’ve realized is that when it comes to addiction, the only advice that matters comes from people who've actually recovered. So I spent years tracking down and interviewing 159 recovering addicts, parents, and recovery professionals to understand what truly motivates change. Then I distilled all those insights into a step-by-step system that works regardless of how severe or long-standing the addiction is. "In ten years of trying to come to grips with my son's addiction, I have finally found the help I desperately needed." - Becky S. For the cost of a single therapy session, you get: ✅ The 3 truths that 159 addicts say inspire change faster than anything else ✅ How to set boundaries that actually work with addiction ✅ What your child wants you to understand but can't express Stop trying approaches that weren't designed for addiction. Get the Love Another Way Jumpstart Guide: go.livewellandfully.com/law-jumpstart-fb/

Most moms of adult children that struggle with mental illness don’t realize that there is a specific approach to helping their families go from ‘chaos’ to ‘calm’ that therapy and books don’t teach. I’ve spent years helping thousands of moms who have adult children who struggle with mental illness. And I’ve noticed a trend. These moms are stuck riding the never-ending roller coaster caused by the chaos of their child’s mental illness. It’s like… one minute, the medication is working. Things seem to be finally looking up. Then all of a sudden, the roller coaster drops again. And moms are left driving themselves crazy trying to figure out what else they can do to help. The whole time, they’re losing sleep, worrying about the worst possible scenarios. Late-night phone calls make their stomachs drop. And even though their child is still there physically, they often feel grief about the way they’d always imagined parenting would be in these later years. Constantly going to new doctors and therapists… or maybe refusing to get help altogether! Going on and off their medication. The never-ending ride drains moms of everything they have. They try reaching out for professional help on their child’s behalf… But that never goes over well. And reaching out for support from family and friends is useless. No one understands. Everyone tells them to stop “enabling” their children and to “set boundaries.” But the problem is no one tells them HOW to actually do that. I know how frustrating it is because I’ve been there. When I discovered that my adult son was struggling, I became locked in for my own long ride on the rollercoaster of chaos. I tried setting boundaries, but he either ignored them, made excuses, or I didn’t know how to follow through. They just created arguments and pushed us farther away from each other… and they certainly weren’t effective. I tried making rules. I tried laying down penalties… Nothing changed. The nightmare continued. But then a wise clinician opened my eyes. She showed me the REAL root of the issue. (and it changed everything for me). See, mothers are wired to love our kids a certain way. And that’s great for our healthy and well children. But it’s the exact OPPOSITE of what a child with a mental illness needs. Let me be clear - our children who struggle with their mental health still need our love… They just need to be “loved another way.” Most moms don’t realize that there’s a very specific way to set boundaries with their children who struggle with mental illness that doesn’t involve abandoning them! Or enabling them. “Peaceful” boundaries… but “powerful” boundaries. When you master this form of boundary setting, you’re able to finally break free from manipulation and constant chaos. And finally get back to living your own life the way you want. And the best part about it all? Changing the way you treat your child not only changes your life for the better - but your son or daughters as well! The simple but powerful shifts can actually help your child to start making the best decisions for them So they can get well and stay there. But it starts with you. Once I finally discovered how to love my son in the way he needed… I knew I couldn’t keep it to myself I am passionate about bringing this message to the mothers of children who struggle with addiction and other mind diseases. That’s why I’ve put together a workshop on my three-step formula to “Love Another Way.” Register for the free confidential workshop here: https://go.livewellandfully.com/3-secrets-fb64-2-mi/ I fully believe this information is what’s missing for many families. Mothers constantly tell me this could have saved them years of heartache. In fact, a few parents were recently talking to my son about how he turned his life around. They asked what they could do to help their own children during the darkest nights. His answer? “Listen to my mom.” https://go.livewellandfully.com/3-secrets-fb64-2-mi/

There's a reason pushing harder doesn't work when an adult child is suffering with mental illness, and there's a different approach that finally brings peace at home and gives their child their best chance at stability Most moms of adult children with mental illness have been pushing for treatment for years. Sometimes a decade. Sometimes longer. They've found the therapist. Scheduled the appointment. Driven their grown child there. Watched the medication go in the trash. Watched another diagnosis get rejected. Watched another crisis end in another discharge, another six months of false hope. There's a name for what these moms are dealing with: when a person genuinely cannot see they're struggling. But these moms don't need the term. They've lived it for years. And every time someone tells them their child "has to want it for themselves," a little more of them gives up. Because they've wanted it for them, on their behalf, with everything they have, for as long as they can remember. After working with thousands of moms in this exact place, here's what I've learned, and what changed everything in my own family: The pushing is part of the pattern. Every time a mother pleads, reasons, or rescues, she reinforces the dynamic that says: Mom will carry this. I don't have to. It's not her fault. It's how mothers are wired to love. But for an adult child with mental illness, that wiring needs to be redirected. That's what the "Love Another Way" framework teaches. It's not tough love. It's not abandonment. It's not "rock bottom" thinking. It's a specific, gentle, repeatable way of loving your adult child that creates space for them to start developing the awareness no amount of your pleading can create for them. I put together a free, confidential workshop that walks through how it works. In under an hour, you'll learn: - The three-step formula for loving an adult child who refuses help - How to stop being the buffer between them and their illness - What real progress looks like when your child won't acknowledge they're sick - The first shift you can make today Watch it here: go.livewellandfully.com/3-secrets-fb64-2-mi/ You've been carrying this alone for long enough.

For moms whose adult child is suffering with mental illness and refuses treatment, pushing harder is actually what's keeping things stuck, there's a different way that finally brings peace and helps their child take their own steps toward getting better Most moms of adult children with mental illness have been pushing for treatment for years. Sometimes a decade. Sometimes longer. They've found the therapist. Scheduled the appointment. Driven their grown child there. Watched the medication go in the trash. Watched another diagnosis get rejected. Watched another crisis end in another discharge, another six months of false hope. There's a name for what these moms are dealing with: when a person genuinely cannot see they're struggling. But these moms don't need the term. They've lived it for years. And every time someone tells them their child "has to want it for themselves," a little more of them gives up. Because they've wanted it for them, on their behalf, with everything they have, for as long as they can remember. After working with thousands of moms in this exact place, here's what I've learned, and what changed everything in my own family: The pushing is part of the pattern. Every time a mother pleads, reasons, or rescues, she reinforces the dynamic that says: Mom will carry this. I don't have to. It's not her fault. It's how mothers are wired to love. But for an adult child with mental illness, that wiring needs to be redirected. That's what the "Love Another Way" framework teaches. It's not tough love. It's not abandonment. It's not "rock bottom" thinking. It's a specific, gentle, repeatable way of loving your adult child that creates space for them to start developing the awareness no amount of your pleading can create for them. I put together a free, confidential workshop that walks through how it works. In under an hour, you'll learn: - The three-step formula for loving an adult child who refuses help - How to stop being the buffer between them and their illness - What real progress looks like when your child won't acknowledge they're sick - The first shift you can make today Watch it here: go.livewellandfully.com/3-secrets-fb64-2-mi/ You've been carrying this alone for long enough.

I’ve spent years helping thousands of moms who have adult children who struggle with mental illness. And I’ve noticed a trend. These moms are stuck riding the never-ending roller coaster caused by the chaos of their child’s mental illness. It’s like… one minute, the medication is working. Things seem to be finally looking up. Then all of a sudden, the roller coaster drops again. And moms are left driving themselves crazy trying to figure out what else they can do to help. The whole time, they’re losing sleep, worrying about the worst possible scenarios. Late-night phone calls make their stomachs drop. And even though their child is still there physically, they often feel grief about the way they’d always imagined parenting would be in these later years. Constantly going to new doctors and therapists… or maybe refusing to get help altogether! Going on and off their medication. The never-ending ride drains moms of everything they have. They try reaching out for professional help on their child’s behalf… But that never goes over well. And reaching out for support from family and friends is useless. No one understands. Everyone tells them to stop “enabling” their children and to “set boundaries.” But the problem is no one tells them HOW to actually do that. I know how frustrating it is because I’ve been there. When I discovered that my adult son was struggling, I became locked in for my own long ride on the rollercoaster of chaos. I tried setting boundaries, but he either ignored them, made excuses, or I didn’t know how to follow through. They just created arguments and pushed us farther away from each other… and they certainly weren’t effective. I tried making rules. I tried laying down penalties… Nothing changed. The nightmare continued. But then a wise clinician opened my eyes. She showed me the REAL root of the issue. (and it changed everything for me). See, mothers are wired to love our kids a certain way. And that’s great for our healthy and well children. But it’s the exact OPPOSITE of what a child with a mental illness needs. Let me be clear - our children who struggle with their mental health still need our love… They just need to be “loved another way.” Most moms don’t realize that there’s a very specific way to set boundaries with their children who struggle with mental illness that doesn’t involve abandoning them! Or enabling them. “Peaceful” boundaries… but “powerful” boundaries. When you master this form of boundary setting, you’re able to finally break free from manipulation and constant chaos. And finally get back to living your own life the way you want. And the best part about it all? Changing the way you treat your child not only changes your life for the better - but your son or daughters as well! The simple but powerful shifts can actually help your child to start making the best decisions for them So they can get well and stay there. But it starts with you. Once I finally discovered how to love my son in the way he needed… I knew I couldn’t keep it to myself I am passionate about bringing this message to the mothers of children who struggle with addiction and other mind diseases. That’s why I’ve put together a workshop on my three-step formula to “Love Another Way.” Register for the free confidential workshop here: go.livewellandfully.com/3-secrets-fb64-2-mi/ I fully believe this information is what’s missing for many families. Mothers constantly tell me this could have saved them years of heartache. In fact, a few parents were recently talking to my son about how he turned his life around. They asked what they could do to help their own children during the darkest nights. His answer? “Listen to my mom.” go.livewellandfully.com/3-secrets-fb64-2-mi/